im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
