omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm sobbing to NWA
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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