Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
