the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
