i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
