happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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