OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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