If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
