You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
