Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
