"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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