I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
cat food counts as protein by the way
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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