just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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