i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
