i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
