Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
well you can't waste a boner
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
