Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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