Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
