Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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