You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
birth control should be required to get into college
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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