i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
