just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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