The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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