Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just gift wrapped bread.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
