Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You can't just leave with hair like that
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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