TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
