I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize