She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have started to decorate penises.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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