i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize