Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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