If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
well you can't waste a boner
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
