Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
