The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
