You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Randomize
