I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
