I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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