I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you didnt know i had herpes?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize
