yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
