you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
