apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
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Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
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Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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