best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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