Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
