Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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