Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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