she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
