True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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