did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm really busy with my period
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