ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
They have beer where we have blood.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
