Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
