We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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