I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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