I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
