he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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