I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
