hotel room ftw
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.