how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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