i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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