I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
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So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
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This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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