All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
