Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
