can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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