I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
the liver wants what the liver wants
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
