Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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